I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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