He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
