If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
