well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
