You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
