I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize