it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
