the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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