Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
