Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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