So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
