Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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