I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she told me i tasted like america
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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