apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
