how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
