hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
