Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My feet surprised me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
