Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
