i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
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He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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