Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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