You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
