1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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