hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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