Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
