im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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