Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
