i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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