butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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