I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
