But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
