Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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