i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
