So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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