ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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