if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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