Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
