Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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