Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
