Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
