the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize