Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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