please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
