I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
