I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
