turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No more Irish car bombs ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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