Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
