Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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