Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
