Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
