I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
