Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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