I need help removing her.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
