So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How does it feel to date your dad?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
