Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
