so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
