I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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