Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
