I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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