I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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