CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize