When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
